Tag: post

Twinkle

June 28th, 2022

(rewritten)

it used to true whenever Bill would look at me, 
he’d always have a twinkle in his eyes 
and I came to expect to see his smile 
every time, 

but now I wait for even his eyes to shine 
as they did before, for a while I noticed 
his eyes still shined, but that beautiful 

smile didn’t follow as it did before. 
A small upward turn of his lips is all he
 could manage, but soon even that will be gone. 

For now, his eyes don’t even shine they just look blank, 
they just stare straight ahead, not even 
the small upward turn of his lips is he able to manage. 

The tears well up in my eyes, but I just smile 
at him and many times he’d grab my hand 
in desperation, for fear that I’d leave him sitting 
there just staring straight ahead because he no 
longer knows what he is supposed to do. 

He took care of me as long as he could, but he has forgotten. 
He thinks I don’t want to be with him anymore 
He's been dependent upon me for the last five or six years of his life

, and I hate to admit it but it did become burdensome 
and I feel guilty, and did I lose some love for him? 
but my sister tells me that I loved him 
and took care of him ‘till the end 

She said I did it so well, and I did it out of love and 
respect for him. I don’t feel that way sometimes, 
but it is true. 

He's forgotten much of what he used to be, a man
 so capable of being alive and enjoying the life
 he lived and the many things he used to do. 

He did love me with all his heart, and he never 
looked around to find greener grass. He saw
 me at my worst, and my best, 

and he loved me deeply through every single 
moment of it good and bad. My sister reminds 
me of how much in love Bill was with me. 

She said she wishes that I could remember
 how much it showed in his eyes when 
he looked at me. I start to cry, the tears just flow.

 I know I did love him too and many times my eyes
 would show it when I was looking at him. 
He never minded my tears; he’d always hold me 
when I cried and he’d say 

hat he didn’t know what to do for me 
or how to help me. I used to look at him with
 the love and appreciation for all the many 
things he did through the years out of love for me. 

I would tell him that he was doing it, just holding
 me and letting me cry on his shoulder was all I would ever need. 
Oh, how I still miss him. I find myself smiling
 because I hear people outside my apartment 
and think it is Bill coming home, just for a moment, 

and then I remember that he is sleeping in death. 
It still stings after all these years. now I know 
why Jeremy had such a strong hold on me for so long. 
I miss Bill still, and I wish he was still here to be 
my loving husband the same as he was for 30 years.

No comments to show.

Shimmer

June 27th, 2022
(Rewritten)
When I was a child, I was shy and very soft spoken. Now those of you that know me, quit laughing, I was too shy, and I was very soft spoken also. Many children were, not so much today as they were 50 years ago. I felt that I was inferior to everyone. I played normally, most of the time. Red rover, 123 redlight, mother, may I? and all the other games. I was a tomboy and good at running and climbing trees and hanging upside down by my knees. I hated being inside. In any case, I grew up despite my inadequacies. Along the way, there were far too many bumps, I thought. When I grew up and look back at my childhood there were some good times, and there were a few times that I did shine in my own right. There were a few times that I did fit in with the rest of the kids. Remembering an assignment that we had to do on the spur of the moment, the teacher asked us all how we would act if we found a mouse in our slipper when we got out of bed. The teacher called on each of us in no particular order. She usually called on me last and this time was no different. Each student did nothing but yawned, stretched, put their slippers on, ran and screamed. I am so glad that I was last because I thought the way they were all doing the same thing was stupid. When finally, my turn came around I yawned too, but I also wiped the sleep from my eyes, stretched, and yawned again. I then picked up one slipper put it on and put my foot back on the floor. I then slipped my other foot into the other slipper made a puzzled face wiggled my foot, and then I picked up my slipper, looked in it shook it. As I watched a mouse drop out of my slipper and scurry away down the hall I took a deep noisy breath, made my eyes wide open, and then I made my face scrunched up in disgust, and then I yelled out “Mom, Mom, and threw my slipper on the floor. My teacher applauded me and said that what I did would happen in a real situation. Well, it only made sense to me that you had to look and see what was wiggling in your slipper first. She praised me in front of the class. I did shine inside and out. It made me feel so happy the rest of the day. This class was on public speaking and I loved it. Another time I shimmered was on an assignment of comedy. We were all to write about a funny way something was invented. I told my dad I was stuck and didn’t know what to write about. My dad said he had an idea. I could write on how the twist was invented. I asked what he meant he said maybe an ice cube had somehow fallen down into a fat lady’s dress. I thought about that and since it was freezing cold while it was melting, she turned one way and then other just trying to get the ice cube out of her dress without reaching inside her dress. As she shimmered this way and that, all the while screaming OOH, OOh, it finally fell out but not before the kids were laughing and they started doing this new dance. They started calling it the twist and from now on, the twist has been a big fat hit. The other kids in the class loved it and the teacher was howling. Of course, I acted like what I thought she would be doing. All were laughing so much. I walked to my seat and had to pass the teacher. I remember her asking me if I had thought of that myself. I had to admit that my dad came up with the idea, but I wrote the story. She had an A in her book, but she marked it down to a B-. I still gleamed that day, so there was another shimmer in my life. I’m sure there were other times I sparkled too. I just can’t think of them right now. Somehow as time went on, I grew from a shy child that could hardly speak above a whisper to a woman who had no problem voicing her opinion. It was time, circumstances, and effort that brought me out of my shell and blossom into a writer that is able, as are many others, to put down thoughts that are understood, heartfelt, is able to touch hearts and sometimes tickle funny bones. Isn’t life great?
Feel Free to Share
Email
Twitter
LinkedIn
More
Pinterest
Like this:
Like Loading…
Frog Kissing

June 12th, 2022
When I was just a young princess my hopes of finding my prince became much less hopeful with each frog, I forced myself to kiss. I say forced because with the word going around in that day, it was believed that frogs gave you warts. I certainly didn’t want warts and so it went that I had to close my eyes and force myself to kiss each one of those green, or brown, slimy creatures. Much to my dismay, not one of them gave even a whisper of hope that my prince would instantly appear after kissing those gross little creatures.

rss feed

So, with a big sigh, and the fear of getting warts from each frog, I would spit on the ground, wipe my mouth with the back of my muddy hand, and spit again just to make sure that I got the taste of frog off my lips and all traces of the cooties they could possibly give me along with warts were gone. About the age of seven when I finally gave up on the idea of my finding a prince by kissing frogs. It seemed totally useless to me. Who believes such a stupid thing anyway? Well, I went back to my usual way of trying to find my prince charming and that was in the daydreams I would allow myself to indulge in each day. I did always wonder what a prince and his princess did when they rode away to live happily ever after. It seems that no one I asked knew the answer to that question either.

I asked Uncle Ernie about that and he said I would just have to wait until mine showed up so I could find the answer to that question. I then asked him just when my prince would be showing up. He told me he wasn’t sure when that would be, but he did know that my prince would show up just when he was supposed to. Uncle Ernie said that my prince might even show up as a knight in shining armor and rescue me from a tower. I gave him a kiss and climbed down from his lap. Maybe I would dream of this tonight. I sure did doubt it though.

My little corner of the attic was just the right environment to imagine that happening. In the winter the bare branches of the big acorn tree next door moved across my ceiling as though they were just waiting for me to fall asleep and they would then snatch me up and take me away. When I heard the wind whistling in the dark and saw the branches dancing across the ceiling in such a foreboding manner it was utterly impossible for me to even close my eyes. It was a pretty scary scene that played over and over again each night. When I got too scared, I would call my brother who slept in a bed on the other side of the chimney from me and sometimes he would let me climb into bed with him and he would put his arms around me. I felt safe with him and sometimes thought that maybe he was my knight in shining armor, but I do have to add that he was no prince charming. He was just an older brother who was mean to me as brothers usually are to younger sisters.

Well, even after some time had passed by and I was growing up I still waited for my prince charming but to no avail. I began to believe that there was no such thing as a prince charming who would take me away to live happily ever after. When I had just about given up on the idea of a prince charming even existing at all, I heard my mother say that she had just found her prince charming. I ran to her and asked her where he was and how did she find him. I was eleven at that time and she told me that I was too young to know how to find one, but she had finally found hers and I would find mine someday. I asked her if she was going to ride away and live happily ever after and leave us here.

About that time I started into JR High School for seventh and eighth grades. It became a painful realization that there was no such thing as a prince charming and there were no knights in shining armor either to come and find me or rescue me from a tower. My life did continue on and even though the reality of there not being a prince charming or a knight in shining armor coming for me on a white horse, I still held out a shred of hope for there to be someone to find me and rescue me from the nightmare of the teenage years. Nope, it never happened. I grew up and went through life in the normal way, getting through as best as I could.

Then one day I realized something miraculous had happened. There was such a thing as a prince charming. I now had the proof because my prince charming walked into my life to rescue me, but he was no prince charming, even though I saw him that way. He did finally appear after much doubt and fear that he would never come to find me and take me away from this house and my siblings. As for what they did and lived happily ever after? They must not have known what it was either, because they did not live happily ever after, and that finally ended her search for her prince charming. She learned that life was just life, and there are good times and bad times and we always figure out how to get through the bad times and we try to remember the good.
Feel Free to Share
Email
Twitter
LinkedIn
More
Pinterest
Like this:
Like Loading…
Dreams and Reality

June 11th, 2022
I remember his first kiss upon my lips, for that was the very moment he captured my heart; and it was that very day when our love began, there in the World of Reality. My heart was pounding, my mind racing with excitement, and my thoughts were running wild, I continued alongside him into a land not familiar.

I saw the sign: it plainly said “The land of dreams” Your eyes were so trusting, and your words so sweet. You easily convinced me that we belong together in the land of dreams. In the land of dreams our love began to blossom. The more words of love we spoke to each other, the deeper our love grew, yet, the many words of love we exchanged became so confusing to me. I’d find my thoughts spending much time in the world of reality; he always knew when my mind wandered back there. For it was only he who knew where I was, and exactly how to bring me back with him to be with alongside him.
(more…)

I remember his first kiss upon my lips, for that was the very moment he captured my heart; and it was that very day when our love began, there in the World of Reality. My heart was pounding, my mind racing with excitement, and my thoughts were running wild, I continued alongside him into a land not familiar.

I saw the sign: it plainly said “The land of dreams” Your eyes were so trusting, and your words so sweet. You easily convinced me that we belong together in the land of dreams. In the land of dreams our love began to blossom. The more words of love we spoke to each other, the deeper our love grew, yet, the many words of love we exchanged became so confusing to me. I’d find my thoughts spending much time in the world of reality; he always knew when my mind wandered back there. For it was only he who knew where I was, and exactly how to bring me back with him to be with alongside him.
(more…)
Feel Free to Share
Email
Twitter
LinkedIn
More
Pinterest
Like this:
Like Loading…

Tag: post

Twinkle

Feel Free to Share

Like this:

Shimmer

(Rewritten)

Feel Free to Share

Like this:

Frog Kissing

Feel Free to Share

Like this:

Dreams and Reality

Feel Free to Share

Like this: